A Witty Title About Mommyhood

I have been discussing starting a blog for a long time.  I have been told (and agree with) that I have a lot to say.  The hardest part of starting a blog for me, other than technology, is that my thoughts are always scrambled and rarely make sense.  Then I start thinking about my grammar, if its up to par (I know its not) and how many people will read it and think a comma should go there - or this sentence isn't even a sentence.  OR what if NO ONE reads it.  I already have two little butt heads at home that certainly don't listen to me.  Okay so one of them is almost three and actually an asshole.  The other is 14 months old and generally on my good side.  But he's getting to that age where I have to start telling that cheeky monkey "no".

I made a blog once.  Years and years ago.  In fact it was a blog on the same subject matter - mommy hood.  However this time its taken a different turn.  I went from writing about yearning to become a mother and fearing i never would get to fulfill that place in my heart.  Now it's about attempting to survive mommy hood.  Life.  Marriage.  Adulting.  Mother hood had brought me a lot of joy.  The joy that makes my heart swell and almost burst.  It has also brought a bit of depression and tears.  Sometimes happy tears and sometimes sad, angry tears.  I don't know what the eff I'm doing but I do know that if some weird, random shit is going to happen to someone - it will probably happen to me! I hope I start to write about it and share the REAL mommy hood.  I wanted to wait to start this blog until i had cleared my desk off completely; except for my macbook air (that i don't really know how to use), a candle (diptyqe anyone?), a cup of tea and new glasses i desperately need.  Instead I'm somehow juggling this device on an arm chair, in an ill fitting t-shirt (because i'm struggling at losing weight from baby #2) and wondering if it would be inappropriate to get a glass of whiskey.

I'm sick of seeing organized people with their erin condren, filofax planners - stickers all coordinated and ready for the next 6-8 months chalk full of amazing activities like baby yoga, soft play etc.  I'll be candid and say I'm sick of seeing it because I'm NOT that way.   I want to be.  I'm just really fucking tired at the end of the day.  I'm sure "they" are tired as well but whatever.  So here I am - to keep it real - let you know i haven't mopped my kitchen floor in 2 months and my kids are only eating pancakes because its all they want and right now, I'm fine with it.